For $1M, you can pay Bryan Johnson (or BryanAI?) to teach you how to live longer

It’s the middle of February, and the air is dry. Faint lines are beginning to show up on my forehead — maybe because I don’t moisturise enough, or maybe as a sign of something bigger: every day, I’m a little closer to my own death. Soon, I will be 30. I will never again be younger than I am right now.

Fintech-founder-turned-longevity-guru Bryan Johnson has put forward an offer that grabbed my attention. For the very modest price of $1 million per year, I can pay him to walk me through the “exact protocol” he says he has followed for the last five years. He calls the program “Immortals.”

Yes, the same guy who has gotten Botox injections in his genitals will teach me how to reverse ageing, supposedly. Why shouldn’t I believe Bryan Johnson has uncovered the secrets to living longer than any other human? No, he has not yet demonstrated that he can outlive everyone else. He was born in 1977, a year in which many people alive today were also born.

But why would I ever question the judgment of a man who strengthened his body with blood from his teenage son? When has the tech elite ever misled us? Should I also doubt Elon Musk when he says saving for retirement won’t matter because AGI will create an economic abundance so vast that poverty will vanish forever?

According to Johnson’s post on X, this ultra-exclusive service — only three spots are available — will include “a dedicated concierge team, BryanAI 24/7, extensive testing, millions of biological data points, continuous tracking, best skin and hair protocols, and access to the best therapies on the market.”

I can chat with the AI version of a guy who livestreams himself doing shrooms for “science”? Sign me up!

Except I can’t. Because I don’t have $1 million, people like me will have to settle for buying Johnson’s overpriced olive oil in the pursuit of immortality (it’s peppery and smooth!).

My newly visible forehead wrinkle deepens with the realisation that Johnson will probably have no trouble filling those three $1 million slots. Among the ultrawealthy, longevity has become an increasingly hot obsession.

John Hering, who has backed Musk with billions of dollars, co-founded Biograph, which describes itself as a preventative health and diagnostics clinic. Its top-tier membership costs $15,000 a year (next to Johnson’s offer, it almost feels like a bargain… almost). Another similar startup, Fountain Life, has raised $108 million to fund its “ultimate longevity program,” which charges a $21,500 annual fee. Sure, Johnson’s program costs far more, but remember: there are only three spots! And if you’re still not ready to drop seven figures, there’s also a vague “supported tier” for $60,000.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to live longer and healthier. Still, longevity influencers like Johnson push the idea to an unattainable extreme — and, by any reasonable standard, unnecessary for the average person.

To his credit, Johnson isn’t trying to convert all of us into taking 100 pills a day and living mostly on boiled vegetables. But he’s also not exactly depriving us of the chance to make him even richer in exchange for his “secrets.”